Dear Agent, Part III

When you wake up on a cold winter's morning to an inbox full of

We have carefully evaluated your materials and regrettably, your project is not a right fit for our agency. We currently have a very full clientele and must be highly selective about the new projects we pursue

and

Rest assured that we do read every query letter carefully and, unfortunately, this project is not right for us. Because this business is so subjective and opinions vary widely, we recommend that you pursue other agents

you're going to need something that perks you up in approximately 1.6 seconds. Vodka. Triple-chocolate ice-cream with crumbled cookies and hot fudge sauce. Maybe it's icanhascheezburger.com:


Oh, you like your kittehs to be seen and not heard? Then Dreaming of Kittens at the Daily Squee is for you:


There's also the baby animal vids on YouTube. Pandas sneezing! Polar bear cubs sneezing! Dogs ... doing stuff. If Surprised Kitteh! had surfaced when I was querying I would have single-handedly contrubuted 100,000 hits to that little grey munchkin. There's also many weeks worth of Tuesdays to trawl at Lenore's blog. Emmy in the frying pan! Emmy and Finn in the dishwasher! If it's in her apartment, those two have sat on it.

For more rejection-specific catharsis, there's InkyGirl's Daily Diversions for Writers:

Feeling better already aren't you? Now you're ready for the harder stuff: famous rejections. Not only will you be able to have a belly laugh at the expense of all those foolish agents and editors, you'll have interesting tidbits for dinner parties that will make you sound interesting and not at all bitter:

"Did you know Stephen King's Carrie was rejected thirty times? John Creasey collected 743 rejection slips, and Kipling was told he didn't know how to use the English language. My god, Kipling!" you moan. "The brutes."

Say this with a feverish glint in your eye while stuffing chicken salad in your mouth and your invitation to the next party will be assured.

Then there's whinging to friends. I'll let you in on a little secret: non-writer friends are the best when you want to fish for compliments. Even if they haven't read your book. Come to think of it, especially if they haven't read your book. If you seek commiseration with writer friends the conversation will quickly descend into the famous-rejection-quoting Olympics. But I'll let you in on another secret: while your non-writer friends will shower you with the delicious empty platitudes that you are so craving, in their heart of hearts they don't really believe you can do it. I know this from all the "OMG, REALLY??!" responses I got when I finally got to break the I-got-an-agent news. The "WTF??" was unsaid, but written all over their non-writer faces.

Once you've been propped up by your non-writer friends, it's time to turn back to your writer friends for some chin-up-old-girl tough love. They do believe you can do it. They'll remind you that it's only been x number of weeks, these things take time, you manuscript is excellent and no I don't think sparkles would have made any difference, and so on and so on.

Momentarily buoyed, it's now time to turn to the activity that is best for soothing those jangled nerves: the next WIP. Not only will you fall in love with a whole new cast of characters (which can be heartbreaking because you still very much in love the old ones) you'll be using all this waiting time to your advantage. I wrote a third of an urban fantasy novel while Lharmell was being queried around. (The heroine came out rather quick tempered and ... scary. Gosh it felt good when she knifed her nemesis's tires. I wonder why ...) If the worst happens and your querying comes to nothing, you'll be well on your way to having the next project ready. If you do get an agent, you'll be able to show off all this lovely work you've been doing.

Finally, three and a half months after I sent my first query letter, I got the email. Three little words: "I love this." I let out a giant WHOOP! and jumped all over my boyfriend, who was asleep, poor thing. You're supposed to take a day to think about offers, contact the other agents who've requested the MS, muse over the rewrites required. And I recommend this. I really do. But I think my response when I got the subsequent phone call was "YES YES OH GOD YES thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you."

And then I threw myself a party. Because I knew what was coming next: submissions. More waiting and hand-sitting and dreaded anxiety. I took my OMG, REALLYS??! (WTF??) and my vodka tonics and I bloody well basked.

I'm writing this now from Submissionville. That party seems a long time ago now, but it's a very happy memory that I get to keep even if Lharmell doesn't sell. I've been working hard on book two and falling even more in love with my characters and story. If it doesn't sell I will be crushed and heart-broken, but there's that urban fantasy calling to me, and I can always make my heroine go knife more tires until we both feel better.

~~
I hope you've enjoyed Dear Agent. I've had a lot of fun writing it as yes, it has been some welcome distraction from the "Is it going to sell before Christmas? Is it?? IS IT??!" voices in my head.

I would love to hear about your querying process too, or how you plan to approach it. I'm available for a bout of the famous-rejection-quoting Olympics, and I'm good with the comfy-shoulder/tough-love stuff if you need it. Email me at rhi.hart at gmail.com

And good luck!!

Dear Agent, Part II

Here's Part II of Dear Agent, in which I describe my querying process. Everyone's experience will be different but I hope by sharing mine I will answer a few questions for those about to begin their own querying.

I went about looking for agents who were interested in my sort of novel (YA fantasy) in several ways. First, there's the acknowledgments page at the back/front of novels. If their agent isn't mentioned there, it's probably on their blog. Lots of writing/writer blogs list agents' blogs too, and these usually have great resources, like Nathan Bransford and Kristen Nelson's.

Then there's the agent search engines. The ones I used were LitMatch (now Author Advance), AgentQuery and Publisher's Marketplace. Publisher's Marketplace is the best site for checking recent deals, but AgentQuery was my favourite search engine as it seemed to be the most thorough. Once I'd found a potential agent I'd crosscheck them on Publisher's Marketplace, Writer Beware (the best database of dodgy agents) and the Absolute Write Water Cooler forums to see what people were saying about them, ie. if they tended to be slow responding to queries so don't pull your hair out, what sort of books they seemed to be favouring and so on. There's also QueryTracker which I never used but seems to have won awards. I didn't pay for access to any special agenty info and with all these different free resources available I don't think you need to.

I always checked the agent's website, too, for specific querying instructions, and I always followed these to a T. Agent's profiles are the best place to find out about their personal tastes ("no vampires", "I want some MG mysteries", "published authors only"). With some of the more obscure agents I often didn't send a query if they (or their agency) didn't have a website, because it just didn't feel right.

Initially I sent letters to nine agents, all by email, on June 22. The next morning I woke up at some ungodly early hour that I knew was the end of the American working day, and found two form rejections and one full manuscript request. I was over the freaking moon, naturally. The agent who requested it was from a huge New York agency that I'd heard only the most fantastic things about. Who said cracking into the writing biz was hard? It's day two and I'm practically there!

Three weeks went by, and even though I hadn't heard anything from the agent who'd requested the full, I went ahead and queried another eleven agents. There's nothing wrong with this: agents expect you to contact other agents, but they will often ask you when they request a full or partial manuscript how many other agents are reading it. I took my time querying, and reworking my letter, recording which letter went to whom, and the response it seemed to be getting. I queried 60 over 6 weeks and got a "hit rate" (manuscript request rate) of just over 10%. Cindy Pon, author of Silver Phoenix, said in an interview that she queried over 100 agents before she found a home for her first novel. Steph Bowe queried just three. I've seen agents say many times in interviews that they've passed on novels that they're sure will sell just because it didn't suit their personal tastes--which makes sense as they're going to be reading your novels several times over, and they need to be excited to talk about them for months on end.

My letters looked like this:

Dear Mr/Ms X,

[Always use this format. I did end up calling Ashley Grayson Ms instead of Mr, but he requested a partial so mustn't have minded too much!]

[Straight into blurb. I had three different blurbs with different tones and content that I won't post here (but will describe below) as they're spoilery. I never started with a rhetorical question ("Have you ever wondered about ...") as many agents profess to hating these.]

Told with vivacity and humor, Lharmell is the first book in a YA fantasy trilogy called The Cold Times Trilogy, and is reminiscent of works by Tamora Pierce and Tanith Lee. It is complete at 58,000 words. Full synopses of all three books are available, as well as a full manuscript of book one and a partial manuscript of book two.

[I've seen some discussion about whether it's okay to compare yourself to other writers in your query letter. It's perhaps a little audacious to compare yourself to Stephenie Meyer or JK Rowling, but if you were honestly inspired by particular authors I think it's perfectly reasonable, and helpful, to do so. Always say that the manuscript is complete (and it should be before you approach anyone) and the supporting documents (if any) that are available.]

Ms V, author of YYY (200Y) and ZZZ (200Z), had this to say about Lharmell: ‘Rhiannon Hart had me hooked from the first line and I found myself being drawn further and further into Zeraphina’s journey. The writing is crisp, sharp and utterly compelling.’

[It isn't necessary to get a blurb from an author but if you can find one lovely enough to read your work and write something for you, it does help you stand out from the other slush. I did ask before I queried this author's agent, but I didn't ask for a personal introduction.]

I have been passionate about YA fantasy literature since I was twelve; now I have set out to write a series that I would have loved as a teenager for its adventure, sense of fun, and romance. Lharmell is my first novel. I review YA literature for The Australian Book Review, Viewpoint, and Magpies. I work as a professional book editor and can offer a clean and well-structured manuscript. My work as a book publicist means I can have an active role in promotion and public speaking.

[Include a bit about yourself and your writing credits. I have few and my blog was in its infancy so I didn't include that either, so I padded it out with how much I love the genre, how clean and spiffy the manuscript is--and gosh was it clean. I had a team of monkeys (*ahem* friends) scouring that thing with magnifying glasses.]

Thank you for taking the time to read my query and I look forward to your response.

With all good wishes,

Rhiannon Hart

The body of the letter stayed more or less the same over all queries, but I did have three different blurbs: the original blurb that mentioned four characters, a humorous blurb, and a second "serious" one that mentioned just the two main characters. I sent the initial queries out with the original blurb and got two manuscript requests with it. But I wondered if it wasn't a little dry, so I wrote one that captured the humour of the novel. The problem is, while there's humour in it, it's not a comedy. I worried that I was misrepresenting the book, and no one requested the MS when I queried with this blurb, so I ditched it and wrote another. The third one was unrushed and thoroughly described the plot tension, the two main characters and their motivations. None of these blurbs were over 220 words, and the third was just 160.

Make sure you list by date when and who you query and the date an agent requests/rejects your MS. You'll want to refer to (obsess over) these dates at some point (almost immediately), and it helps if they're written down somewhere rather than relying on the sent folder of your email account.

Researching agents and query letters took me hours and hours to do, but it was one of the funnest parts of the process. The un-fun part is the dreaded waiting, and waking up in the morning to find a load of form rejections. I even got a form rejection from an agent's assistant after the agent requested a partial, which is horrible, horrible manners on their part. The loveliest rejections were from agents who read some/all of the manuscript and offered a (very brief) critique. These are so rare. In fact I think I got just one. Even though it was a rejection it felt so good to be taken seriously, the agent was right and I did another rewrite based on what he'd said.

Tomorrow, the final, frivolous Part III of Dear Agent: how I kept my sanity while querying. There will be Lolcats.

Dear Agent, Part I

I was talking to Jade about query letters and she said she'd be very interested to hear about my querying process. So here it is, over two parts. Part I gives you a overview of the writing and revising and initial researching process. Part II, tomorrow, will be a closer look at research, the queries I sent and to whom. I hope my experience will be of help to those of you about to jump on the querying merry-go-round.

When I told my YA teacher I was going to start querying, she hesitated. "That's rather soon," she said. It was June. I'd started Lharmell in March. She was right. But I didn't listen, of course. The process I'm about to relate will be very familiar to those of you who just did NaNoWriMo. The last thing you want is for someone to tell you to slow down, to take it easy, to ease up a little. You're living the dream! I didn't query as soon as I'd finished with the first draft, but it was rather soon after--too soon, really, but I was lucky and I seem to have landed on my feet. This is how it went.

In the last days of February I scribbled half a sentence on some scrap paper at work. When servant's mistress's betroth. dies suddenly, [scribble] they [scribble] to far off place where servant discovers [scribble]. I kept it, though I can hardly read it. On March 1, I began to write--serendipitously so on the first of the month. Only very recently had I begun to keep a writing journal, and in it I wrote the date, word count, and any snippets of dialogue or plot I was terrified of forgetting.

On March 8 the word count was 6,000 and the title was Bitter Wormwood. On the page after some scribbled notes about the Lharmellins, I listed four YA literary agents and the authors they represented: Jill Grinberg, Nathan Bransford, Barry Goldblatt and Kristen Nelson. I found them on authors blogs and their own blogs. I didn't do anything but write the names down and get back to the novel.

On March 9 the word count was 8,500. Sometime around the eleventh I brainstormed variations of the main male character's name:

Simian Finian Tergan Fergan Rudden Rodden Roddan Roddon Raddon Radden

I went with Rodden. Somewhere around this time the title changed to The Tors of Lharmell, and then simply to Lharmell.

March 15 I had 20,300 words. On March 16 I stumbled onto the Booktrust website where Patrick Ness was the writer in residence that month. I didn't know him and the Chaos Walking books from Adam at the time, and I only rediscovered his writing tips months later when I was researching him for an interview. This was one of the things he said:

Knowing the last line. I may not know the climax of my story or how I’ll get there, but I always know the last line, the last sentence or feeling that I’ll leave the reader with. I knew in The Crash of Hennington that it would be an image of a herd of rhinos leaving a burning city. No idea how I’d get there, but I knew that’s where I wanted to go. It gives me something to aim for over the long haul.

In my diary I excitedly wrote, THE LAST LINE!!! And then I scribbled out a few images and snatches of words and thought, that's it. That's how it ends. I don't think I would have gotten to the end so quickly or smoothly if I hadn't known the last line.

March 21, 24,800 words. March 27, 32,500 words. March 29, 35,000 words. April 2, 46,700 words; a list of things to be covered in a long conversation between Zeraphina and Rodden, one of my very favourite scenes to write that occurred right before the climax.

I didn't sleep much in the following days.

April 3, 48, 900.

April 8, 64,000 words; DONE!!! (First draft, completed in 39 days. I'm an edit-as-I-go writer. Every time I sit down to write I reread the previous day's passages. I'm not a "shitty first draft" sort of writer. If things aren't working, I can't leave it and go on because I don't know the mood my characters will be in. They may have just had a fight, which is likely because they're always fighting. The sequence of scenes and portrayal of characters in the final version are pretty much the same as they were in the first draft. Most of the revising happened at the line level.)

April 9. Things to check. What follows is a rather long To Do list, including edits, chapter summaries and drafting a letter to agents.

Because Lharmell is the first book in a planned trilogy I wanted to have thorough synopses of books two and three written, and at least some of book two, The Harmings, written before anything went out to anyone. So I spent a mint on printing copies of Lharmell to give to lots of lovely friends who volunteered to critique it and launched myself into book two. The going was far slower. On April 20 I had just 1,500 words. I was not only writing book two, but editing book one in stages, writing synopses and planning the rest of the trilogy. On April 28 I had a synopsis of book one. I freely admit that I loathe writing synopses. Everything comes out wooden and I want to stab myself every time I write "and then". Which is often.

At the start of May I had 14,400 words for The Harmings, and I started blogging. Writing one, I mean. I'd been lurking on several for a few months. Blogging didn't seem to have an immediate effect on my word count as I see the next day, May 4, I had 20,000 words.

Then the word count ground to a halt. I went on holiday to Vanuatu. I started reviewing for magazines. There are notes for The Harmings all through May, but no increase in word count. Then, at the end of the month, I got Lharmell back from my teacher and feedback from several friends, and rewrites began in earnest. Which meant, of course, that I began planning several other novels. None of them stuck, thank goodness, and on June 22 I sent out my first batch of letters to agents. It was a Monday night, if I remember correctly, and I'd had three glasses of red wine and had been rather distractedly watching something on television when I'd suddenly thought TO HELL WITH IT. I'll do it now!

The next morning there were three emails in my inbox.

Tomorrow, Part II: The letters I wrote, how I researched agents, and how I kept my sanity throughout the querying process.

One last thing: It's good to approach agents of authors who write similar books to you, but it's not always obvious who represents them. I sent a few emails to authors, asking about their representation. Most didn't reply, but one lovely lady did, and we started emailing back and forth. It was great to talk to someone on my side of the equator who'd cracked it overseas. Eventually I asked her if she'd like to take a look at Lharmell and perhaps write a short recommendation that I could put in a query letter. It's not critical, but if you can get a recommendation from a published author, it may help you get a leg up out of the slush. It's also thrilling when someone in the biz gets behind your work. Makes those cold, dark writing mornings that little less lonely!

Review: Shakespeare, Bill Bryson (audiobook)

William Shakespeare is the most loved and well-known of English playwrights. But what do we really know about the man we call the Bard? Historian Bill Bryson goes back to the primary sources and interviews key experts in order to put together this interesting but shockingly slim biography.

The reason for the book's brevity is simply because we don't know that much about Shakespeare. According to Bryson, not one letter or diary by, to, or mentioning Shakespeare survives. His descendants died without offspring after two generations, and no biographer attempted to interview them while they were alive. Even the authenticity of the three portraits of who we suppose is Shakespeare, from which all other portraits have been taken, is unconfirmed. It's often said that Shakespeare was born and died on the same day, but that too is supposition, based on the date of his baptism. Perhaps most horrifying of all to learn is that in likelihood we wouldn't have the plays of Shakespeare if a folio of his work hadn't been compiled and published after his death. (Millions of schoolchildren down the generations just groaned in dismay.)

It is tempting to suppose we can deduce Shakespeare's character from his work and many frustrated historians have attempted to do just that. But Shakespeare wrote such diverse characters and plots, so do we suppose he is capricious like A Midsummer Night's Dream, or hopelessly romantic like Romeo and Juliet? Even his sexuality can only be guessed at, as many of his sonnets are addressed to a man, including "Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?". Finding the man behind the bard is a frustrating and ultimately vain undertaking, and it's doubtful that after all this time new documents will surface that will tell us more about him.

While unable to relate a detailed account of Shakespeare's life, Bryson provides a great deal of context to the period in which the plays were written, the status and quality of the English language at the time and the many myths that surround the playwright. One hundred and fifty years after his death, the authorship of Shakespeare's plays began to be called into question. It was argued that Francis Bacon or another playwright had penned the works. There is no evidence or convincing reason for this, and no other playwrights of the day have been accused of fraudulence. It's a peculiar habit of conspiracy theorists that they target only the most well-known or well-loved of a field; it seems that less famous individuals are hardly worth wasting their powers of invention on.

Written with his characteristic dry humour, Bryson's Shakespeare is a compelling read. The audiobook, read by the author, includes a short but interesting interview with Bryson.

My mini review of A Short History of Nearly Everything can be found here. If you have doubts about Bryson's comedic talents, laughing your way through his history of science will dispell them. I plan to read The Mother Tongue: English and how it got that way shortly.

In My Mailbox (14) + Thou Shalt Dance

This meme is hosted by The Story Siren.

Happy Caturday! First, a big hello to all my new followers. I got several #FFs on twitter from lovely bloggers which encouraged people to stop by. So now I'm over 100 and thrilled indeed.

I went secondhand book shopping in the CBD this week, hunting for retro novels to feed my new foray into sci-fi.

I bought:

• The Lotus Caves, John Christopher. He's the author of one of my favourite dystopian reads this year, The Death of Grass. This book is one of many he wrote for young adults.
• West of Eden, Harry Harrison. The asteroid that caused the extinction of the dinosaurs never hit Earth, and they evolved into bipedals right along with humans. Now it's WAR!!
• The Once and Future King, TH White. A classic Arthurian retelling. I opened to a random page after I bought it and a cat was being dropped into boiling water. Kinda put me off a bit. Has anyone read this that can let me know if it's worth my time?
• Storm Warning, Mercedes Lackey.
• Deenie, Judy Blume. Been on the lookout for this one since that post.
• War of the Worlds, HG Wells. I have seen and heard many adaptations of this so I'm keen to read the book.

From the library:

• Shakespeare, Bill Bryson (talking book). Just finished this one. It was very interesting and Bill Bryson is a wonderful writer. Review shortly.
• Finnikin of the Rock, Melina Marchetta (talking book). I'm constantly lamenting the state of speculative fiction writing in Australia. It's only right I should read this one.
  

In the background you can see my NEW, mostly empty, bookcase. There's another empty shelf up top that you can't see. This is my writing room. It also doubles at the dining room, lounge room, TV room ... we live in a teensy flat. Last night Zapp asked once again why he couldn't leave his chin-up thingy hanging above the door to the kitchen (which is just on the left of the book case). I said, "This is non-negotiable. It's not going to stay there all the time hanging over me like some symbol of masculine oppression. I have to write pretty books for girls in this room!"

Lharmell news: Nothing to report. I've been out on submission in the US for about two weeks now. Book two word count, The Harmings, at 48,400. I estimated it would reach 60k, like Lharmell, but now it's looking more like 75k. I aim to have the first draft done by December 31st, which means no more dance parties til New Year, but ...


Today I'm off to Stereosonic to have a good bloody dance! I'm rather fond of these all-day events, but certain things tend to stick in my craw. So I've put together:

The Ten Commandments for Organisers for the Summer Festival Season

• Thou shalt not oversell thy festival/club event/gig.

• Thou shalt ensure there are enough toilets for the ladies.

• Thou shalt not put the lion’s share of these toilets in the VIP area. The people who actually paid to get in pee too.

• Thou shalt not install taps in the bathrooms too low to refill water bottles. It’s just mean.

• Thou shalt make pass-outs available at a reasonable time.

• Thou shalt sell essentials, like gum and rain ponchos. We can do without bracelets and t-shirts. Just sell gum and ponchos.

• Thou shalt NOT, repeat NOT sell coupons for alcohol, making festival-goers queue twice for their Smirnoff Ice.

• Thou shalt not run out of vodka at two in the afternoon and have only Tooheys Light available for the rest of the night.

• Thou shalt ensure music does not bleed from stage to stage.

• Thou shalt not put the two best acts on the line-up on at the same time.

The Holy Parish of Dance thanks you for your thoughtfulness, obedience to the ten commandments, and cute bar staff.

The sun is shining, it's going to be a perfect 24 degrees and everyone's coming over to mine for pre-dance voddies. Happy Silly Season!

It rubs the lotion on its skin

I woke up with a teensy hangover (happy birthday Nick!) singing this. In lieu of actual words, here's the Greens Keepers with "Lotion". For Silence of the Lambs fans.

Waiting on Wednesday: Ness, Pike and Labyrinth

I just happened to be browsing Patrick Ness's blog, as I am wont to do, and I discovered that the UK cover of the third and final book in the Chaos Walking trilogy has been released. Like, weeks ago. WTF universe, why didn't you tell me?

How epic was the end of book two? How much were you yelling "Don't do it Todd! TODD HEWITT! NO!!"

Without further ado, here it is. I am pining myself out of existence waiting for this book. (May UK/Australia, September US.)

“War,” says the Mayor.“At last.” Three armies have marched on New Prentisstown, each one intent on destroying the others. And Todd and Viola are caught in the middle of it all. As the battles commence, can they hope to stop all-out war? Can there ever be peace when they’re so hopelessly outnumbered? And if, as they have been told, “War makes monsters of men”, what terrible choices await them? And what of the third voice that watches them, one bent on revenge... The electrifying finale to the multi-award-winning Chaos Walking trilogy, Monsters of Men is a heart-stopping novel about power, survival, and the devastating reality of war.

Released this week was the cover of Spells (May 2010), the sequel to Wings. I really liked Wings and dear Laurel, and I'm curious to see who she'll end up with as it's really not that obvious. Especially not to her. So she's kissing both David and Tamani, trying them on for size, conveniently forgetting about the other when she's with one of them ... Lucky girl!

Six months have passed since Laurel saved the gateway to the faerie realm of Avalon. Now she must spend her summer there, honing her skills as a Fall faerie. But her human family and friends are still in mortal danger--and the gateway to Avalon is more compromised than ever.

When it comes time to protect those she loves, will she depend on David, her human boyfriend, for help? Or will she turn to Tamani, the electrifying faerie with whom her connection is undeniable?

The cover art for Return to Labyrinth Volume 4 was released the other day as well. It's breath-takingly stunning. Released on August 3.

And now we gaze at the prettiness.


L-R: Toby, Moppet, Sarah, Jareth. Gods know why Moppet's in the gown. She's in love with Candlewic, who's totally evil and an ass to boot. And ew, surely she can't be marrying Toby. If you've read v3 you'll know why that would be ew!