Thursday, December 24, 2009

Readying for the Christmas Apocalypse

Christmas, brought to you by the itteh bitteh kitteh committeh

It's done! The preparations for the day when no shops are open. Twice a year the supermarkets close here, and twice a year I'm struck to my core with fear. What if I need a barbecued chicken? What if I need tonic water? WHAT IF I NEED GENERIC SUPERMARKET BRAND LOW-FAT POTATO SALAD?? As my mother used to say when I was in high school whenever I exhibited signs of going soft, a pioneer woman I would not make. Rot. I bloody would. I'd just have to take Organisational Skills 101 first.

The pantry and fridge are groaning under the weight of food and drink and Zapp and I have made so many trips to the supermarket our knuckles are now dragging along the ground. (We don't have a car, which means lugging everything home by hand. The perks and downfalls of urban living.) Much of the weight comes from, er, liquid. In the form of sparkling Shiraz. Heaven forbid we should run out of booze on Christmas Day. My brother and his girlfriend are bringing reinforcements, but you never know.

The lunch menu is thus:

  • To begin, mini toasts spread with cream cheese and dill, topped with smoked salmon.
  • Roast lamb with all the trimmings. I was overcome by fear at the butcher and bought two legs. I don't know why. One would have been perfectly adequate. The second leg is now wintering in the freezer.
  • For dessert, a maa-aa-aasive Christmas cake that Zapp's parents sent over from NZ, Irish Cream ice-cream, and fresh cherries.
The meal will be thoroughly lubricated with very cold sparkling Shiraz and dark New Zealand ale. Sparkling Shiraz is my favourite Christmas drink. It's like the Australian equivalent of drinking mulled wine, and rather festive.

What about decorations, you ask? No Christmas tree pics? Nope, there are no children to amuse. We will be having a scream-free, sugar-high-free, tanty-throwing-free Christmas. Though I do reserve the right to have a wail if necessary, as it's in my apartment all this swilling and eating will be going on.

Finally, I would like to share with you a very special Christmas song that is sure to be enthusiastically rendered at Carols by Candlelight events in Australia tonight: Rolf Harris with "Six White Boomers". Be warned, it is made of corn.

Happy Holidays! Have a fantastic day, whatever you're doing.


  1. Running out of booze is probably the worst thing that could happen on Chrissy. My dad's doing the final run now!

    We're having a BBQ breakfast and then a big lunch with the extended family. Then comes the best part: trifle, cheese-cake and Christmas pudding. Nan's rock!

    Have an awesome day.

  2. Luckily we have a liquor store near our house run by non-Christmas celebrating folk from the Indian subcontinent. I love multi-racial communities! *sigh*

    Sounds like the feast will be epic, good lady. Enjoy the season! May it find you air-conditioned and replete with alcohol. :)

  3. Haha, thanks guys! Same to you both!

  4. That video is hilarious. And, hey, I want to come party with you guys. Sounds like too much fun.
    But I will take a long walk on a California beach, eat barbecued turkey, cream cheese and scallions rolled in smoked ham and chocolate icebox cake. Not bad.

  5. Oh, Christmas. I spend it with my alcohol-abstaining parents, so I go overload on COFFEE. I'll probably have finished one pot by 10am.

    This food you speak of sounds wondrous. I hope we will be treated to photos!

  6. That menu sounds delicious! In Britain we have this law (I think) that turkey must be eaten on Christmas day, no matter whether or not we like it, and I've bought a turkey that feeds twice as many people as we'll actually have eating it.

    Have a wonderful Christmas, Rhiannon. :)